The Secret Language of Symbols: The Mirror

Photo by Sarah Penney on Unsplash

The mirror is a tricky little object.

At first glance, it seems to tell the truth. There we are, apparently: hair doing whatever it has decided to do, face slightly more tired than we had hoped, expression suggesting we may need either a holiday or a decent cup of tea.

But symbolically, the mirror is rarely just about appearance.

It is one of the great images of self-recognition.

In fairy tales, myths, dreams and the inner life, the mirror may reveal what has been hidden. It may show us the face we present to the world, but also hint at the face beneath the face. The self we know. The self we avoid. The self we are becoming.

A mirror can be reassuring, but it can also be unsettling. Most of us say we want self-knowledge until self-knowledge actually turns up, takes its coat off, and starts pointing things out.

In therapy, the mirror may invite us to wonder:

What am I ready to see?

What am I avoiding?

What image of myself have I mistaken for the whole truth?

And what might be reflected back to me through my relationships, dreams, symptoms or longings?

The mirror can also speak of projection. Sometimes what we see “out there” belongs partly “in here”. The irritating person, the admired person, the feared person, the envied person, may all be carrying something of our own unlived or disowned life. Annoying, but useful.

A good mirror does not flatter us, nor does it shame us. It helps us look with honesty and compassion if we cooperate. That is often where healing begins.

This movement towards deeper self-recognition is also at the heart of my book, The Seeds of Change: How Therapists Cultivate Personal Growth.

As with all symbols, the mirror does not have one fixed meaning. For one person, it may suggest vanity. For another, truth. For another, reflection, illusion, intimacy, ageing, identity or the longing to be truly seen.

So perhaps the question is not, what does the mirror mean?

But:

What is being reflected back to me?

What do I find hard to look at?

And what part of me is waiting to be seen with kinder eyes?

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