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- Not quite Aphrodite...
Yesterday, I was a dynamic, vibrant young thing, keen to pursue my third career and so ALIVE. Today, I decided to have a jacuzzi bath in a hotel I’d booked to celebrate my husband’s 65th birthday weekend. As I sat down in the tub (I’ve been accustomed to showering for the last 20 years), I realised with absolute certainty that I would not be able to get out of the bath. I’m now 68, you see, with an osteoarthritic left knee, and my right knee is not much better. Being unable to exit a bathtub will sound absurd if you’re not my age and have never suffered the pain of an afflicted knee. It seemed ludicrous to me. And unbelievable. And sure enough, as I tried to leave the bath, I could not stand. I panicked and perspired. I pushed and propelled. No way was it going to work! Two grab rails on the side of the bath gleamed with promise. Nope. My upper body strength wouldn’t support me. My fear of dislocating my knee was so great I was shaking with dread. I had visions of two strong men being summoned to lift me, in my naked glory, from the bath, and the visions were not erotic, let me assure you. I decided there and then that if I could not exit the bath under my own steam, I’d check into Dignitas immediately. And at that moment, I did not feel I was being dramatic. The indignity! The shame! How had I been reduced to this? With a supreme effort, I grasped the grab rail on the wall, pushed myself onto my hind legs, and—thank the Lord! I was upright! This must be how I felt as a toddler! Hurrah! I reluctantly shared what happened with my lovely husband, who empathised (my preference was to stay silent and let him believe I was invulnerable). Still, I could tell he didn’t really understand how indescribably scary the episode had been. Getting old is not a cakewalk, folks. It’s hard. More challenging than you can imagine when you have your health and strength. It’s a shock to the system. Only yesterday, I thought I was strong and invincible. When I say yesterday, perhaps it was four years ago. I know it was because it was the year before COVID-19 hit the headlines when I was a youthful 64. But time flies, and even though, at that time, when I was smugly walking the earth thinking I’d live with all of my faculties until the day I suddenly and somewhat wonderfully dropped dead, I now realise that perhaps there’s a slow decline in store for me, as for so many. Ageing. The great leveller.
- Brainwashing Clients
In the wake of the publicity around Prince Harry’s book ‘Spare’, and the allegation that Prince William accused his brother of being ‘brainwashed by therapy’, I’m tempted to say ‘if only!’. On the other hand, I have some sympathy with Prince William’s alleged viewpoint. Let’s unpack this subject. Firstly, why do I say ‘if only’? I’m being facetious by saying if it were so easy brainwash our clients perhaps we’d save them a lot of time and money. It isn’t easy sitting for weeks, months or years at a time whilst a client purports to desire a change in behaviour whilst doing the opposite. But having attended therapy for years, I know my own changes were not easy. And I’m so grateful that my therapist never exhibited frustration at my resistance. Just as you wouldn’t push a little child into the deep end of a swimming pool without arm bands and lots of encouragement, nor would any therapist worth their salt try to crash through a client’s defences - developed for good reasons, usually in childhood - and attempt to force a change before they were ready. When change happens, it often happens incrementally. This is due to the nature of the brain and the ego (who we believe ourselves to be) and the ego’s astonishing will to survive intact. Making change is difficult. Period. Good psychotherapists put aside their own agenda and take the view that they don’t know what’s best for the client. The client knows what’s best for themselves. At some level they know. And although it might sometimes appear that wrong choices are being made, therapists must hold a position of humility and curiosity. We may wonder with the client what might happen downstream if they were to make this or that decision, and so on. But we need to remember that the client has a soul and that soul has its journey and what may look like a mistake to us might be the perfect healing journey that client needs to undertake in order to develop a particular quality or set of qualities to help them become more whole. To individuate. Gestalt therapy refers to the process of individuation (or becoming whole) as ‘selfing’. Selfing is a dynamic process. So, when we respond in the same old way to challenging situations (choosing to avoid confrontation, for example, or choosing full-scale confrontation as opposed to calm dialogue), we are in a very real sense avoiding our wholeness. When we take a leap of faith and choose a different way of responding to challenges, we are ‘selfing’ - taking a step towards becoming whole. So, back to Prince William’s alleged viewpoint - can therapists brainwash clients? Can they influence their clients? Of course! People can be influenced by many things - nature, nurture, our experiences, our friendship groups, what we choose to read and so on. So when we are in crisis and reach out and find a therapist in whom we place our trust - yes, of course there is the potential for undue influence. Psychotherapy training is about not influencing our clients. It’s about providing the right environment, holding space and allowing clients to find their own, best way forward. Ideally, we therapists are like Sherpa guides - we know the terrain, we have plenty of experience of the territory in all kinds of weather, we can to some extent suggest the best paths to take. But we don’t direct or decide. The route, the speed, the stops en-route, changes of direction - all these are the client’s decisions. We assist the explorer as best we can. In the therapy process, we do this by asking open questions (questions not requiring a yes/no answer) and allowing the client to explore their inner and outer worlds without interference from outside influences. However, some people are very receptive, searching for somebody authoritative to make decisions on their behalf. This can be alluring for some therapists and there’s a need to avoid being unconsciously recruited by clients wishing for this.
- Goodbye 2022
As the year draws to a close, I offer you my first blog. What’s on my mind today? Love - and dogs. On Boxing Day my neighbour, his little Staffordshire terrier in its harness, ready for a walk, waved goodbye to a couple of Christmas guests in their car. As he strode off the dog turned around and stared, aghast, at the visitors’ car about to leave. His daddy gently tugged on the lead to encourage him to keep walking and the dog pushed his paws into the road in a Disney stop. “No!” (I voice-overed) “I thought we were all going together! I don’t want to go with just you daddy!”. No stiff upper lip. No promises of not leaving it so long in future. No “Phew, thank God that’s over for another year…”. Just genuine doggy remorse that his expectations were not met. Thirty seconds later, he was feeling better as he sniffed the local lamppost for new and interesting smells. The resilience! Today I’ve been watching dogs in the park. Not one without its tail wagging. Each and every one seemingly thrilled to meet new friends, old friends, two-legged and four-legged, it seems to matter not. Everything is a source of amazement, but not for long. Then they’re onto the next amazing thing with barely a backward glance. How much easier life would be if we could be more dog. Relishing the moment, throwing ourselves into relationships with complete abandon. Grieving endings briefly and then moving on to the next lamppost. I know we can’t. I know the human brain is more complex and it needs to reconfigure itself after a loss. I get it. But as I prepare to say goodbye to 2022, I’ll be looking for my own metaphorical new lampposts. Grateful to have had 2022 when so many didn’t make it through. Intent upon relishing 2023 with every ounce of my being. Wishing everyone who reads this a Happy New Year and leaving you with the words of Meher Baba (February 25, 1894–January 31, 1969) Love is essentially self-communicative: Those who do not have it catch it from those who have it. True love is unconquerable and irresistible; and it goes on gathering power and spreading itself, until eventually it transforms everyone whom it touches. Lynn
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- Dream Guides| Lynn Somerfield | Psychotherapy & Counselling
Dream Guides Introduction to Dream Guides We all love to hear good stories. They amuse us, unite us, distract us and help us make sense of our own lives. Think of the number of people reading books, settling their children down at bedtime, reading fairy tales to them (often being asked to repeat old favourites), of the vast amount of money spent on churning out films and TV series to keep us entertained with dramas, fantasies, sagas, comedies and tragedies. Dreams, too, are stories. We’ve been fascinated by dreams for thousands of years. Every night we have several dreams. Some people swear they never dream, others only remember fragments and some remember them in great detail. Your dreams send a cascade of symbols, motifs, images and coded messages to you, messages about your life that are often not available to your conscious mind. Your dreams offer up a vignette of the state of your life as it is right now. Download my 'Dream Guides'. One guide a general dream interpretation guide, and the other is a Gestalt Guide to Dream Interpretation. Just complete the simple form below to receive your free Dream Guides. Please subscribe me to future communications and offers. Your personal details will remain confidential and will never be shared with any party outside my therapy practice. Download Wisdom tells me I am nothing Love tells me I am everything Between the two my life flows Nisargadatta Maharaj | Hindu Guru Teachings | 20th Century
- Specialities | Lynn Somerfield | Psychotherapy & Counselling
Specialities Introduction to Specialities As a transpersonal and integrative psychotherapist, I am able to help with a broad range of issues. Below I have provided information surrounding my main specialist areas. Please feel free to scroll down through each specialist therapy area, or use the 'Quick Menu' provided to jump directly to the area you would like to learn more about. If there is something you would like to discuss that is not covered on this page, please simply contact me . Quick Menu Abuse Addiction or Dependency Anger Issues Cognitive Behavioural Therapy (CBT) Depression Eye Movement Desensitisation & Reprocessing (EMDR) Grief & Bereavement Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (OCD) Panic Attacks Post Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD) Relationships Stress The Chakras Reach For A Helping Hand Take your first step to a life of positive mental health Book an Inital Consultation Abuse Issues Abuse comes in many forms. Abuse can happen to anyone and often the situation has developed so gradually that victims are not even aware that they’re being abused. It’s impossible to detail the many ways abuse is meted out, but here’s a broad sweep of the subject. Psychological Abuse Where we are prevented from making choices or expressing opinions, subjected to threats, bullied, intimidated, etc. Physical Abuse Where we are hit, slapped, kicked or punched. Financial Abuse This can include theft of possessions, money, benefits; we may be subjected to fraud, scams, rogue traders and so on. Discriminatory Abuse We may be abused on the basis of race, religion, gender or gender identity, age, disability or sexual orientation. Sexual Abuse We may have received unwanted sexual attention such as touching, teasing or innuendos or forced into non-consensual sexual activity. Book an Inital Consultation Ask a Question Abuse Addiction or Dependency Addiction is a huge subject, so let me try to convey some of the main points. There’s a fine line between dependency and addiction. Dependence can lead to addiction. Dependence can occur with the chronic use of drugs (including alcohol). We are dependent when we are using to the point where it is causing significant difficulties in our lives and we are losing the willpower to control our drug use. When someone is addicted the use of drugs causes major problems with school, work or home life (or all three). They may act out-of-character, lie or even steal to get the drug They may suffer physical issues such as ulcers, kidney or liver damage. Addiction is the disease which is called the ‘disease of denial’. Why is that? Why would anyone wish to be in denial of any disease? Usually, we run to the doctor and hope to be reassured, or have a diagnosis confirmed and a clear treatment plan outlined. The roots of addiction may be far-reaching. It may be genetic, trans-generational, trauma-based, environmental or psychological. The drug-of-choice which is causing the problems usually feels (to the person suffering from the dependency) like their best friend. Their salvation. The drug-of-choice is usually helping them to compensate for, or avoid, something they may not even be aware of! Essentially, we may, for a variety of reasons, not have sufficient internal resources to soothe ourselves and we may, therefore, be in the position of seeking that outside of ourselves. And in an attempt to find a way of coping with stress, we may engage in unhelpful behaviours which are not conducive to a balanced, healthy life such as overeating, drinking too much alcohol, taking drugs, sexual addiction, impulsive and unnecessary shopping, workaholism, etc. In therapy, we work on exploring the ways we can soothe ourselves. We will look at many aspects of this difficult and sometimes life-threatening disease and begin to find ways of developing new adaptive behaviours to help us deal with those difficult situations which trigger us to use the very thing that seems to comfort us - but can kill us in the end. Book an Inital Consultation Ask a Question Addiction or Dependency Anger Issues Anger is a normal human emotion. But the ways we express our anger can be healthy or unhealthy. There are two types of unhelpful expressions of anger: Passive Aggression This includes behaviours such as sulking, procrastinating, smirking, ’forgetting’ to do certain things. Overt (Open) Aggression Examples of behaviours include physically lashing out, shouting, verbally abusing others, bullying, sarcasm, criticism, shouting and bickering. If you think you have anger management issues and you want to work on making different choices, counselling can help you develop new, healthy, assertive behavioural skills in response to triggering situations. Book an Inital Consultation Ask a Question Anger Issues Your First Step Toward Professional Support Take your first step to a life of positive mental health Book an Inital Consultation Anxiety Anxiety is an emotion we experience when we are worried or afraid. It is a future-oriented emotion and it’s usually about what might happen. It can be mild or severe. Some people suffer from anxiety every day as if they are hard-wired for worry. It can make your heart race, cause you to sweat, shake or become short of breath. Anxiety can also cause you to become overly careful or avoid anxiety-provoking situations. You may begin to worry in relatively harmless situations. It can feel overwhelming and interfere with your life and relationships. It can be totally debilitating. Counselling is highly effective in the treatment of the symptoms of anxiety. Book an Inital Consultation Ask a Question Anxiety Cognitive Behavioural Therapy (CBT) Cognitive behavioural therapy (CBT) is a talking therapy that can help you manage your problems by demonstrating how you think directly impacts the way you behave. It's most commonly used to treat anxiety and depression, but can also be useful for other mental and physical health problems. In my opinion, CBT is a fantastic therapy when used as an integrative package to the other therapies I offer to my clients. I run courses on CBT for fellow-professionals, and the public, that deliver a host of techniques around how to best free yourself from any distorted beliefs that may be getting in the way of you living the best life you can! Book an Inital Consultation Ask a Question Cognitive Behavioural Therapy (CBT) Depression Feeling down from time to time is perfectly normal, but if you find that you’re feeling hopeless and despairing, if your low mood is affecting how you think, feel and perform your daily activities such as working, eating, studying sleeping and having fun, you may be suffering from depression. Counselling can help with depression in many ways — let me name just two! (1) We can explore the way negative or distorted thoughts lead to emotional, behavioural and physical consequences. (2) We can examine the stressors in your life and see how these impact on you. We then play with ideas about making new choices which will help you change the way you live and see your life. Don't suffer in silence. If you feel you could be suffering from depression, take your first steps towards a better life and book an initial consultation with me today. Book an Inital Consultation Ask a Question Depression Reach For A Helping Hand Take your first step to a life of positive mental health Book an Inital Consultation Eye Movement Desensitisation & Reprocessing (EMDR) This type of fast-trauma reduction has, with good reason, grown steadily in popularity for the past couple of decades and is a treatment recommended by NICE (National Institute for Clinical Excellence). It is particularly indicated for treating post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD). PTSD often occurs after experiences such as military combat, physical assault, rape, or car accidents. Complex PTSD can be the result of repeated traumas, such as an extremely unsafe environment whilst growing up due to emotional, mental or physical abuse or even being born into a war environment or having to flee one’s homeland for example. To explore the use of this therapy, please book an initial consultation or simply contact me to obtain more information. Book an Inital Consultation Ask a Question Eye Movement Desensitisation & Reprocessing (EMDR) Grief & Bereavement We all lose a loved one eventually. Your loved one may be a parent, a spouse, a sibling, a friend, or a companion animal. The loss may be sudden or it may be expected. Everyone experiences grief in their own way. Some commonly experienced emotions are rage, shock, anger, guilt and longing. Other feelings, such as relief, are more difficult to address. It’s as if we feel there are acceptable and unacceptable emotions. There are recognisable stages to the grieving process. These include denial, anger, bargaining, depression and acceptance. But the stages don’t necessarily follow neatly in order - they may be experienced more like a pinball machine, bouncing back and forth for a while. If you’re struggling with your grief, counselling can offer a safe, empathic space for you to explore your loss whilst coming to terms with a ‘new normal’. Book an Inital Consultation Ask a Question Grief & Bereavement Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (OCD) OCD is a common condition which has two main parts: 'obsessions' and 'compulsions'. Obsessions are unwelcome and irrational thoughts, images or urges, that repeatedly come into your mind. They cause you to feel anxious or uncomfortable. Compulsions are repetitive activities that you carry out to reduce the anxiety caused by the obsession. These may be things like repeatedly washing your hands or checking a door is locked, repeating a specific phrase in your head or checking how your body feels. OCD is no laughing matter. It can disrupt your daily life, your relationships and cause you to feel ashamed. It’s often accompanied by anxiety and depression. It’s often not diagnosed because it can be accompanied by other mental health conditions. The good news is that counselling can help OCD sufferers a great deal. Book an Inital Consultation Ask a Question Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (OCD) Professional Support Is Just A Click Away Take your first step to a life of positive mental health Book an Inital Consultation Panic Attacks A panic attack comes on suddenly. It is a feeling of intense anxiety and can include shaking, sweating, feeling disoriented, nauseous, irregular heartbeats, breathlessness and dizziness. It can be very frightening. People sometimes feel like they’re going to die. Most panic attacks last between five to thirty minutes. If you feel you are suffering a panic attack, try this... (1) Breathe in as slowly, deeply and gently as you can, through your nose. (2) Breathe out slowly, deeply and gently through your mouth. Some people find it helpful to count steadily from one to five on each in-breath and each out-breath. (3) Close your eyes and focus on your breathing. (4) You should start to feel better in a few minutes and you may feel tired afterwards. If you’ve had more than one panic attack and you’re struggling to deal with them, do seek help for your anxiety. Book an Inital Consultation Ask a Question Panic Attacks Post Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD) Trauma occurs when there is a shock to the body or mind, or to both. It results from a deeply distressing or disturbing experience and although armed services personnel are commonly diagnosed with PTSD, it can occur in all walks of life. The symptoms of PTSD are varied and can include flashbacks, nightmares, mood swings, panic attacks, avoidance of things that trigger memories of the original trauma, difficulty sleeping, difficulty concentrating, eating disorders, cognitive delays (sluggish mind) and lowered verbal memory ability (forgetting words). Symptoms start within 3 months of an incident but they may not be particularly discernible until years later. Without treatment, it can remain with you for life. The best way to treat PTSD is a fast trauma-reduction method called EMDR, a therapy discussed in more detail in the EMDR section of my website. People can also suffer from a condition called Complex PTSD. This a psychological disorder that can develop in response to prolonged, repeated experience of trauma in an environment in which the individual has little or no chance of escape such as an abusive childhood featuring physical, emotional, mental or sexual abuse, neglect, ongoing intimate relationship abuse, prolonged school bullying, victims of kidnapping, slavery, trafficking, unhappy boarding school experiences, cult membership. Such experiences can include protracted feelings of terror, worthlessness, helplessness and loss of a sense of identity. Treatment for C-PTSD requires longer-term therapeutic work, as a good therapeutic relationship needs to be built, trust issues will need addressing, EMDR will need to be used to reduce the more debilitating symptoms of trauma before work can be done on helping the client to work on unresolved issues from the past, to establish good boundaries, a support network of trusted people and more. Book an Inital Consultation Ask a Question Post Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD) Relationships Couples counselling is a specialised form of therapy where two people meet with a couples counsellor to discuss their relationship difficulties. You may feel your relationship is on the rocks for some reason — perhaps there has been infidelity or betrayal of some kind — or just going stale, or other stresses. Perhaps you feel that your attempts to communicate either escalate into arguments or go nowhere. With willingness on both sides, I can help you learn to listen to each other, and much more. Couples counselling can save relationships. It surely has to be worth a try? You can book a 12-week course with me, after which, whatever your decision, you will both be equipped with some communication skills and insight into relationships that you didn’t have prior to therapy, which will either enhance your current relationship or at least stop you continuing to make the same mistakes over again! Book an Inital Consultation Ask a Question Relationships Your First Step Toward Professional Support Take your first step to a life of positive mental health Book an Inital Consultation Stress The most common signs of stress are low energy, recurrent headaches, pains, tense muscles, diarrhoea, constipation and nausea, chest pain, rapid heartbeat, insomnia, frequent colds and infections, loss of sexual desire or ability to ‘perform’ sexually, anxiety, a feeling of being overwhelmed, an inability to motivate yourself, racing thoughts...and the list goes on...and I know we could all tick these boxes at times! Long-term stress is however extremely debilitating and finding ways to deal with it can feel like pushing a rock uphill. Often, people who’re suffering from stress have fallen into particular ways of thinking or behaving which they think are helpful, but are actually not. There are ways of dealing with stress and exploring alternative, helpful ways of dealing with it which are proven to be extremely helpful. If your car isn’t working well, you take it to a mechanic. If you are not functioning well under pressure, counselling can definitely help you. Book an Inital Consultation Ask a Question Stress The Chakras Before you’re tempted to dismiss this as 'new-age nonsense', have a read of this... The chakra system originated in India between 1500 and 500 BC recorded within some of the oldest written texts called the Vedas. The chakras have been described as centres of organisation for the reception, assimilation, transformation and expression of life energy (known variously as chi, ki, prana, the life force and so on). The ancient chakra system can be used as a map for the process of becoming whole. The chakras are formed throughout childhood and traumas occurring during childhood can cause imbalances in the chakra system. When the chakras are out of balance, the currents of the life force can be blocked. Which means we become stuck in repetitive patterns of behaviour, either focusing excessively on a particular type of energy or spending a lot of time avoiding it. Although I don’t force any type of system of learning on my clients, I do lean on the chakras as a map to understand what’s going wrong and why, and in twenty or more years of practice, this wonderful theoretical model has never failed me. My chakra courses are open to both professional colleagues and the public. See my Workshops page for further information. Book an Inital Consultation Ask a Question The Chakras
- About Psychotherapy & Counselling | Lynn Somerfield
Psychotherapy & Counselling Introduction Psychotherapy and Counselling. So what’s the difference? They’re both talking therapies, right? Depending upon the individual therapist and their training, there may be a world of difference, or none at all. Some counsellors provide brief treatment focussing on behavioural patterns. Psychotherapists tend to focus on longer-term working, concentrating on long-standing emotional problems. Although that is a grossly over-simplified explanation of the terms Psychotherapy and Counselling, it should suffice as an introduction to this page of my website. Benefits I grew up in the North of England, where I was somehow left with the impression that talking about my problems in anything other than a jocular way would make me a crybaby. As Gene Hunt (the blunt, 1970s copper in Life on Mars) famously said “This is Manchester. We don’t sauté our fish. We batter it.” This is Manchester. We don’t sauté our fish. We batter it. Gene Hunt | BBC 'Life on Mars' | 2006 However, aged 35 and finding myself in the Last Chance Saloon, humbled by a physical illness which medicine couldn’t help (M.E.), I stopped trying to laugh it off, took myself seriously, sought out therapy and never looked back. Psychotherapy and counselling can provide relief from debilitating symptoms. It can help us — in ways which would be difficult without the assistance of a non-judgemental ‘other’ — to make the necessary changes to our behaviour in order to live fulfilling lives. It can address symptoms which are causing problems in our relationships, enhance the quality of our lives by enabling us to make more helpful life choices, help us to learn and apply better communication skills, give us the ability to change self-defeating behaviours, enable better expression of emotions, offer relief from depression and anxiety and increase confidence and decision-making skills, and can offer other benefits flowing from the ability to establish and maintain a healthy client/therapist relationship. "The results of psychotherapy and counselling tend to be longer-lasting and less likely to require additional treatment than prescribed medication. For example, in the treatment of depression and anxiety disorders, psychotherapy clients/patients acquire a variety of skills that are used after the treatment ends and generally, these clients/patients tend to continue to improve after the termination of treatment." (Hollon, Stewart, & Strunk, 2006; Shedler, 2010). Professional Support Is Just A Click Away Take your first step to a life of positive mental health Book an Inital Consultation Process The first step in therapy is for us to meet for an initial consultation and get to know each other a little. At the first meeting, I will be asking you lots of questions about the issues you’re struggling with right now and what you’re hoping to address in therapy. I will also be asking you about your childhood experiences, your relationship with your mother, father, other caregivers and your siblings. Other important information I need will include any previous therapy you’ve had (how it went, how it ended, whether it was satisfactory, etc), your work history, relationship history, reasons previous relationships ended and your current relationship if you have one. The reasons I ask these questions is that the answers begin to provide with me a blueprint upon which I can loosely base my therapeutic strategy for our work together. The ‘blueprint’ will be added to over time, as more information surfaces from our sessions. I will obviously allow time during the first session for you to ask any questions you wish to ask about me, therapy in general and how I see us working together in the future. Psychotherapy and counselling are usually conducted on an open-ended basis and I usually suggest we review how things are going after six sessions to see if you’re getting what you hoped for from the therapy. Subsequent sessions differ from the first, insofar as you come along to the session and either continue from where we left off the previous week (I may have extra questions to ask too) or you may have something in particular on your mind that you wish to discuss. It’s important that the client leads the session. I’m not one of those silent, blank screen types of therapists, but neither do I take control of the client’s session by asking leading questions or referring to something from the previous week’s session. There are good reasons for this, which I’m happy to discuss. My style is client-centred, entering the session open to the client’s agenda with none of my own, trusting that the client’s higher self, so to speak, knows what needs addressing next. Having undergone years of therapy myself, I have traversed the terrain and this, along with years of professional training, qualifies me to accompany you on your journey. Knowing the landscape and knowing it well, I can be your trusted guide as you find your particular path. I can, like a Sherpa, help you with your baggage and hold a guiding light for you. I will know when to suggest we rest and when we should press on. I can encourage you when you feel like quitting. I can help motivate you when you’re feeling low. And I can be with you when you just need to feel low. I know the valleys and mountaintops, the moods to be expected when you hit an obstacle and want to quit, the sense of achievement when you overcome it — and the feeling of exhilaration when you conquer your own sense of limitation. There will, of course, come a time when you feel you wish to leave therapy. You can, of course, terminate therapy any time you wish, although I prefer a minimum of four weeks’ notice. I ask for this, not for my sake, but to enable what we therapists call a good ending. During these 4 weeks, we can honour the journey we’ve been on together, look at the highs and lows, what was most helpful and what wasn’t. We can begin to see what’s been planted, what’s failed to thrive, what needs some fertiliser, what’s flourished, what needs harvesting and also what seeds may need planting for future growth. I encourage you to give honest feedback to me. I’m open to constructive evaluation throughout our time together. I’m a trained professional so there’s no need to hold back. I hope that throws some light onto the mysterious process of psychotherapy! This is an over-simplified explanation and it has to be because the way it works is reliant — as much as any clever interpretations or techniques — in the therapeutic relationship you and I will co-create. It’s a gift and a curse at the same time. You get the pain much worse than anybody else, but you see a sunrise much more beautiful than anybody else. Terence Alan "Spike" Milligan KBE | Interview, BBC Radio 4 'In the Psychiatrist's Chair' | September 1992