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Yesterday, I was a dynamic, vibrant young thing, keen to pursue my third career and so ALIVE. Today, I decided to have a jacuzzi bath in a hotel I’d booked to celebrate my husband’s 65th birthday weekend.  As I sat down in the tub (I’ve been accustomed to showering for the last 20 years),    I realised with absolute certainty that I would not be able to get out of the bath.  I’m now 68, you see, with an osteoarthritic left knee, and my right knee is not much better. Being unable to exit a bathtub will sound absurd if you’re not my age and have never suffered the pain of an afflicted knee.  It seemed ludicrous to me. And unbelievable.  And sure enough, as I tried to leave the bath, I could not stand. I panicked and perspired.  I pushed and propelled.  No way was it going to work!  Two grab rails on the side of the bath gleamed with promise.  Nope.  My upper body strength wouldn’t support me.  My fear of dislocating my knee was so great I was shaking with dread. I had visions of two strong men being summoned to lift me, in my naked glory,  from the bath, and the visions were not erotic, let me assure you. I decided there and then that if I could not exit the bath under my own steam, I’d check into Dignitas immediately.  And at that moment, I did not feel I was being dramatic.  The indignity!  The shame!  How had I been reduced to this? With a supreme effort, I grasped the grab rail on the wall, pushed myself onto my hind legs, and—thank the Lord! I was upright!  This must be how I felt as a toddler!  Hurrah! I reluctantly shared what happened with my lovely husband, who empathised (my preference was to stay silent and let him believe I was invulnerable). Still, I could tell he didn’t really understand how indescribably scary the episode had been. Getting old is not a cakewalk, folks.  It’s hard. More challenging than you can imagine when you have your health and strength.   It’s a shock to the system.  Only yesterday, I thought I was strong and invincible. When I say yesterday, perhaps it was four years ago.  I know it was because it was the year before COVID-19 hit the headlines when I was a youthful 64. But time flies, and even though, at that time, when I was smugly walking the earth thinking I’d live with all of my faculties until the day I suddenly and somewhat wonderfully dropped dead, I now realise that perhaps there’s a slow decline in store for me, as for so many.  Ageing.  The great leveller.

In the wake of the publicity around Prince Harry’s book ‘Spare’, and the allegation that Prince William accused his brother of being ‘brainwashed by therapy’, I’m tempted to say ‘if only!’. On the other hand, I have some sympathy with Prince William’s alleged viewpoint. Let’s unpack this subject. Firstly, why do I say ‘if only’? I’m being facetious by saying if it were so easy brainwash our clients perhaps we’d save them a lot of time and money. It isn’t easy sitting for weeks, months or years at a time whilst a client purports to desire a change in behaviour whilst doing the opposite. But having attended therapy for years, I know my own changes were not easy. And I’m so grateful that my therapist never exhibited frustration at my resistance. Just as you wouldn’t push a little child into the deep end of a swimming pool without arm bands and lots of encouragement, nor would any therapist worth their salt try to crash through a client’s defences - developed for good reasons, usually in childhood - and attempt to force a change before they were ready. When change happens, it often happens incrementally. This is due to the nature of the brain and the ego (who we believe ourselves to be) and the ego’s astonishing will to survive intact. Making change is difficult. Period. Good psychotherapists put aside their own agenda and take the view that they don’t know what’s best for the client. The client knows what’s best for themselves. At some level they know. And although it might sometimes appear that wrong choices are being made, therapists must hold a position of humility and curiosity. We may wonder with the client what might happen downstream if they were to make this or that decision, and so on. But we need to remember that the client has a soul and that soul has its journey and what may look like a mistake to us might be the perfect healing journey that client needs to undertake in order to develop a particular quality or set of qualities to help them become more whole. To individuate. Gestalt therapy refers to the process of individuation (or becoming whole) as ‘selfing’. Selfing is a dynamic process. So, when we respond in the same old way to challenging situations (choosing to avoid confrontation, for example, or choosing full-scale confrontation as opposed to calm dialogue), we are in a very real sense avoiding our wholeness. When we take a leap of faith and choose a different way of responding to challenges, we are ‘selfing’ - taking a step towards becoming whole. So, back to Prince William’s alleged viewpoint - can therapists brainwash clients? Can they influence their clients? Of course! People can be influenced by many things - nature, nurture, our experiences, our friendship groups, what we choose to read and so on. So when we are in crisis and reach out and find a therapist in whom we place our trust - yes, of course there is the potential for undue influence. Psychotherapy training is about not influencing our clients. It’s about providing the right environment, holding space and allowing clients to find their own, best way forward. Ideally, we therapists are like Sherpa guides - we know the terrain, we have plenty of experience of the territory in all kinds of weather, we can to some extent suggest the best paths to take. But we don’t direct or decide. The route, the speed, the stops en-route, changes of direction - all these are the client’s decisions. We assist the explorer as best we can. In the therapy process, we do this by asking open questions (questions not requiring a yes/no answer) and allowing the client to explore their inner and outer worlds without interference from outside influences. However, some people are very receptive, searching for somebody authoritative to make decisions on their behalf. This can be alluring for some therapists and there’s a need to avoid being unconsciously recruited by clients wishing for this.

As the year draws to a close, I offer you my first blog. What’s on my mind today? Love - and dogs. On Boxing Day my neighbour, his little Staffordshire terrier in its harness, ready for a walk, waved goodbye to a couple of Christmas guests in their car. As he strode off the dog turned around and stared, aghast, at the visitors’ car about to leave. His daddy gently tugged on the lead to encourage him to keep walking and the dog pushed his paws into the road in a Disney stop. “No!” (I voice-overed) “I thought we were all going together! I don’t want to go with just you daddy!”. No stiff upper lip. No promises of not leaving it so long in future. No “Phew, thank God that’s over for another year…”. Just genuine doggy remorse that his expectations were not met. Thirty seconds later, he was feeling better as he sniffed the local lamppost for new and interesting smells. The resilience! Today I’ve been watching dogs in the park. Not one without its tail wagging. Each and every one seemingly thrilled to meet new friends, old friends, two-legged and four-legged, it seems to matter not. Everything is a source of amazement, but not for long. Then they’re onto the next amazing thing with barely a backward glance. How much easier life would be if we could be more dog. Relishing the moment, throwing ourselves into relationships with complete abandon. Grieving endings briefly and then moving on to the next lamppost. I know we can’t. I know the human brain is more complex and it needs to reconfigure itself after a loss. I get it. But as I prepare to say goodbye to 2022, I’ll be looking for my own metaphorical new lampposts. Grateful to have had 2022 when so many didn’t make it through. Intent upon relishing 2023 with every ounce of my being. Wishing everyone who reads this a Happy New Year and leaving you with the words of Meher Baba (February 25, 1894–January 31, 1969) Love is essentially self-communicative: Those who do not have it catch it from those who have it. True love is unconquerable and irresistible; and it goes on gathering power and spreading itself, until eventually it transforms everyone whom it touches. Lynn

Psychology and the Chakras Workshop Psychology and the Chakras This workshop is open to members of the public as well as interested professionals. A wonderful journey through the chakra system first laid down thousands of years ago in the yoga Upanishads ~ direct teachings received from the ancient Indian sages. In this workshop, drawing upon the model formulated by Anodea Judith, we will learn how the chakras have relevance in life today, how they pertain to developmental stages, how the chakras become out of balance, the types of issues this causes and how to diagnose chakra imbalances. Everybody will leave with their own ‘chakra map’. The follow-up workshop ‘Balancing the Chakras’ goes into more detail on how to work with imbalances in the chakra system. ​ £220 Price is per person for a 2-day workshop inclusive of course materials. Download Leaflet Register Interest

About Me About Me When you’re looking for a therapist, it sometimes helps to know a little about that therapist’s background, so I hope you find this information of interest! ​ Most therapists had careers prior to becoming a counsellor or psychotherapist and I’m no exception. ​ Until the early 1990s, I had a 20-year career in the advertising industry where I worked on some famous brands. My job included taking the client’s marketing brief, developing a strategy to achieve client goals, and converting that into marketing materials. In short, I held the responsibility to oversee the whole advertising process from initial brief through to the creation and implementation of TV commercials, press, poster and radio campaigns, constantly liaising between the advertising agency and the client to ensure successful outcomes. ​ A chronic illness (M.E., otherwise known as Chronic Fatigue Syndrome) caused me to re-evaluate my career choice and, uncertain of what I wanted to do, I left the world of advertising. Despite being seriously unwell, I trained in bodywork which included Therapeutic Massage, Clinical Aromatherapy, Indian Head Massage and Reflexology, all of which I loved. ​ My physical illness, however, was not responding to anything my doctor suggested. Alternative therapies helped to an extent, but I was in my 30s and felt like someone two or three times my age. Setting aside my previous attitude of bewilderment, if not contempt, about counselling and psychotherapy, humbled, I decided to consult a psychotherapist. ​ The first session left me reeling. I felt physically and mentally re-invigorated after just 50 minutes with my therapist (Annie Lloyd) and, moreover, I had some idea about why this illness had me in its grip. The next two years saw me recover from M.E. and I felt that, if psychotherapy and counselling were this effective, I’d like to undertake training myself. ​ In 1993, I began a five-year training programme at the Centre for Counselling and Psychotherapy Education in Little Venice, West London. I graduated in 1998 with a Diploma in Transpersonal Counselling & Psychotherapy and went on to obtain an MA in Transpersonal Counselling & Psychotherapy in 2000. I then obtained Diplomas in Supervision and Advanced Psychotherapy and sometime later, trained in the excellent and sought-after trauma treatment called Eye Movement Desensitisation and Reprogramming (EMDR). ​ I now have a busy private practice in London for three days each week and in Lidlington, Bedfordshire on two days a week, doing a job I love. ​ I am also a staff member at my training college, CCPE in Little Venice , London, and I lead regular weekend workshops on a variety of topics for fellow professionals and the public. Do take a look at the Workshops section of this website for further information. Wisdom tells me I am nothing Love tells me I am everything Between the two my life flows Nisargadatta Maharaj | Hindu Guru Teachings | 20th Century Therapeutic Style About 10 years ago, I asked an Apple technician for help and he sent me a ‘share screen’ request. At his bidding, I accepted this request and he said, “I can now see your desktop ~ can you see that red arrow? That’s my arrow.” I remember being astonished! “Whoa! How did you do that?” I asked, looking around the room to see if I was being filmed. Thinking about that mind-blowing experience today, I find it hard to believe that I was so amazed by this technology. There are some people who find the idea of transpersonal experiences as mind-blowing as my screen-sharing experience with Apple, but soon enough accept the idea of different levels of consciousness. ​ There are others who believe that what we see, is all there is. From the more every day to the less usual — everything is welcome in a therapy session. ​ I’m a transpersonal and integrative therapist. What on earth does that mean? To begin with, discussions about ‘the transpersonal’ can still be a bit like the screen-sharing experience I had. ​ ‘Trans’ means beyond, so ‘transpersonal’ means ‘beyond the personal’. Transpersonal is a term used to describe experiences and views of the world that go beyond the ordinary. ​ A transpersonal therapist views people as spiritual beings — there is a spiritual wellspring in each and every one of us, from which our psychological structures arise. The wounding we receive as we progress through life often causes us to veil this spiritual nature, and in doing so, we forget who we truly are. Transpersonal therapy is a holistic, humanistic approach which embraces the whole person — spiritual, creative, social, physical, intellectual and emotional. ​ The spiritual dimension includes aspects such as searching for meaning and purpose in life, listening to the call of the heart, or the call of the soul, acknowledging meaningful coincidences (synchronicity), valuing imagination and intuition, taking guidance from dreams, cherishing the capacity to love, listening to the instinctual nature, appreciating joy and humour, seeking a sense of connectedness, and so on. It can be found in nature, art, literature, poetry and music. And in many other places too. ​ A transpersonal & integrative psychotherapy journey with me will encourage experiences that challenge your sense of whom you believe yourself to be and will leave you feeling you’ve extended your sense self. Your First Step Toward Professional Support Take your first step to a life of positive mental health Book an Inital Consultation Therapeutic Approach As an integrative therapist, I tailor my approach to your needs. ​ I do this by drawing upon a number of theoretical models such as client-centred therapy, gestalt therapy, process-oriented psychotherapy, cognitive behavioural therapy (CBT), psychodynamic psychotherapy, transactional analysis (TA) and Jungian therapy to name but a few. ​ Ideas about ways of working in-session arise from the material presented in the session. It’s not all talking therapy with me. Incorporating the transpersonal aspect, we may draw upon symbolism, active imagination, drawing, toys, role play, bodywork, movement, and so on. No pre-existing skills are required by the client and (of course) everything is negotiable between the two of us! I won’t force you to do anything you’re not comfortable with — there’s more than one way to beat an egg! ​ I believe that the style of relationship I foster provides an opportunity for a genuine, heartfelt and sincere meeting. This helps us remain aware of our mutual influence on the therapeutic process. I don’t have a top-dog/under-dog style, I aim for a journeying-alongside approach. ​ If any or all of this information strikes a chord with you — don’t hesitate, Contact Me now to book an initial consultation. "The great lesson from the true mystics, from the Zen monks, and now also from the Humanistic and Transpersonal psychologists -- that the sacred is in the ordinary, that it is to be found in one's daily life, in one's neighbours, friends, and family, in one's back yard…, and that travel may be a flight from confronting the sacred -- this lesson can be easily lost. To be looking elsewhere for miracles, is to me, a sure sign of ignorance that everything is miraculous." Abraham H. Maslow | Book, 'Religions, Values and Peak-Experiences' | 1964 Qualifications EMDR Certification Levels 1,2 & 3 Alexander Richman Associates | 1 Year | 2010 Diploma in Advanced Psychotherapy Centre for Counselling & Psychotherapy Education (CCPE) | 2 Years | 2001 ​ Diploma in Supervision Centre for Counselling & Psychotherapy Education (CCPE) | 1 Year | 2000 ​ Master of Arts in Transpersonal Counselling & Psychotherapy De Montfort University | MA Award with Distinction | 2 Years | 1999 ​ Diploma in Counselling & Psychotherapy Centre for Counselling & Psychotherapy Education (CCPE) | 4 Years | 1998 ​ Certificate in Stress Management Centre for Counselling & Psychotherapy Education (CCPE) | 1 Year | 1997 ​ Certificate in Fundamentals of Counselling & Psychotherapy Centre for Counselling & Psychotherapy Education (CCPE) | 1 Year | 1994 Affiliations I am accredited by the UKCP

Dream Guides Introduction to Dream Guides We all love to hear good stories. They amuse us, unite us, distract us and help us make sense of our own lives. Think of the number of people reading books, settling their children down at bedtime, reading fairy tales to them (often being asked to repeat old favourites), of the vast amount of money spent on churning out films and TV series to keep us entertained with dramas, fantasies, sagas, comedies and tragedies. Dreams, too, are stories. We’ve been fascinated by dreams for thousands of years. Every night we have several dreams. Some people swear they never dream, others only remember fragments and some remember them in great detail. Your dreams send a cascade of symbols, motifs, images and coded messages to you, messages about your life that are often not available to your conscious mind. Your dreams offer up a vignette of the state of your life as it is right now. ​ Download my 'Dream Guides'. One guide a general dream interpretation guide, and the other is a Gestalt Guide to Dream Interpretation. Just complete the simple form below to receive your free Dream Guides. Please subscribe me to future communications and offers. Your personal details will remain confidential and will never be shared with any party outside my therapy practice. Download Wisdom tells me I am nothing Love tells me I am everything Between the two my life flows Nisargadatta Maharaj | Hindu Guru Teachings | 20th Century